I Have a Confession

2022 Chain Consumption

I decided to do my 2023 challenge in November. And December had all the feels of the Friday night smoker, chain smoking in preparation to quit on Monday. Two desserts on Sunday night because diet begins Monday morning mentality. I had been doing a great job of decluttering and then found myself hanging onto things for fear that over the next year I will need them and not want to go buy replacements.

Susan, you haven’t worn that vest in four years. Being a mindful consumer will not suddenly make you love the vest. It is okay to say goodbye.

Maximism

I am hardly a minimalist. I would say over the past decade I have been closer to a maximist and I am trying desperately to inch my way back over. We live in a big house that and when we moved in we were convinced that there is no way we would ever fill it. But the universe always delivers! Create space, and it will be filled. Admittedly, we still have space but I am keeping bedding that I am certain will never be used again because I have room to. Yes, we make pallets and have forts and occasionally drag out all of the things, but I do long for less. I long to walk into my closet and only see shoes I absolutely adore. Will I ever wear 4” black heels again? Probably not. But the “What if monster” is real and definitely has me convinced that I will be invited to a very fancy gala where wedges are forbidden and my sneaker lovin’ feet will just be so excited for the opportunity that they channel Barbie and happily dance on toe all night long.

Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value

and the removal of anything that distracts us from it. ~ Joshua Becker

The Struggle Is Real

So I do want to acknowledge my fear and my struggle with getting rid of things while planning to simultaneously not accumulate things. It would be disingenuous not to admit the struggle. I must reframe my thinking into only having and buying /receiving things I love and cherish. I must know that sometimes the answer to "But do you need it?" can and should be "No, but I absolutely love it and want it soooooo much".

No Beans Please

I can think back to being a little girl. We would have amazing Sunday lunches after church. My plate would be full of delicious fried chicken and macaroni and cheese and Mom's homemade rolls and a scoop of green beans. The green beans were just there. I didn’t love them but was required to have them. I ate just about everything, so that was never the problem, but my sister wouldn’t eat any of it if the food was touching. So the green beans that neither of us loved, took space from the things we did love… and in her case would make her not even love the other things. Their presence detracted from the things we love. Fair enough that the beans did provide nutrients, but I am very certain my heels do not.

By hanging on to the things that I am so-so about, I am crowding the things I love. I am creating a guilt that I have a drawer full of shorts that I don’t wear or a stack of jeans that likely don’t even fit. I am hanging onto them because I don’t want to bother to try them on or remove the possibility that I may never be a size 0 again. That ship has sailed Susan and that is fine.

Okay jeans. It’s time.

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