Two Ply People

Affirmations work... and I have proof. Several years ago, I huddled my children around to talk about the facts of life. Some supplies had been left at our beach house and we needed to have a heart to heart.

"There will be ups and downs in life, periods of abundance and maybe periods of struggle. But you, my children, are and will always be, two ply people. You may need to make sacrifices in life, but it should never be on your toilet paper. You deserve better. Your butt deserves better. "

I am working hard on my goals to be a conscious consumer. I have finally found reusable snack

bags that are decent, switched to earth friendly washer sheets that are better for the environment and don't come in a giant plastic tub like my pods, and decided to give bamboo toilet paper a go. Bamboo is the fastest growing plant, reaching maturity in three years so being used to manufacture something we all need so much of seems brilliant. It is made with no inks or dyes and called "Cloud paper" so it must be super soft. All in all it seemed like a win win for Mother Earth and our tushies. Unlike the "earth friendly" compostable trash bags that arrived in plastic, the toilet paper arrived in a cardboard box and individually wrapped in paper. So far so good. But that is the unfortunate end of the good review. As the supplies of our ultra soft, cushiony touch toilet paper dwindled, I loaded the bathrooms with our new TP. Brecken, my 9 year old, was the first to switch over and came to me with absolute resolve that this would not be a permanent change.

"But MOOOOOM. WE are two ply people. You cannot make us use that!"

The kids went rifling through the cupboards to see if they could find any of the old toilet paper to hide for themselves. My oldest found one remaining roll and vowed to treat it like it was the most precious, scarcest resource on earth to delay his transition hoping I would come to my senses and restock with our "real toilet paper". Brecken suffered through a few rolls and then declared that if Mommy Do Good didn't remember the fact that we are two ply people, just as she taught us, he would be forced to steal rolls from school which are "bad, but not THAT bad".

I tried y'all. But they have a point.